-> take care

how do you define take care.?

to mi, taking care is something that dun quite exist in my life.?
i duno how to take care of myself. let alone someone.

when i am sick, i dun care.
when i am hungry, sometimes i dun eat.
when i am already full, i still eat coz i am tempted to eat although my stomach cant take it liao.
when i am sad, i still wan to watch or listen to sad songs.
when i am having muscleachs, i still excerise.
when i am tired, i still keep myself awake to do other things.
when i am lost, i totally have no ideas what to do and give up.
when i am confronted with things that are not smooth in my life, i keep to myself.
when i am lonely, i nv make an effort to approach frens.

there are juz so much things with a lot of examples and scenarios with the above WHENS and more to show i dun really noe how to take care of myself.

whenever someone tells mi to take care, i juz reply ORH, OK and do nth. juz do the same thing that is still 'harmin' myself. like nw...

climb till fingers pain, but i am still climbing.
climb till brusies here and there, but i like it.
climb till muscleace, but i like the feel of having difficulty in my movements the next day.
run till leg pain, but i am still runing.

less than 12 hours later, i am going fer nike human race run. i am nt prepared. with muscleachs, and my leg pain, i am still goin to try and push myself fer the 10k.

i juz dun really take care of myself but juz one word, 'torturing'. yes, i am torturing myself.

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