-> The different things I wanna blog..

Gt some other things I wanna blog bout I just forget wat are those so I will just start wif wat I rmb ba frm sun…

Sun 20.01.08
Went climbing wif steven, heng yi and karnita.. saw beatrix while climbin n her comments was first time see you all here… she meant karnita n I coz we nv climb on suns… while, aft climbin on sun makes mi wanna climb more on sun.. one is to climb more, two is i haf more time to rest n enjoy myself. Aft dat went to meet deqiang at ps when steven dey all heard is a guy meetin mi, they are curious how he looks like and keep sayin I’m on a date haa.. duno fer wat reason, I denied it was a date.. in e past, yes I see it as a date coz he ask (date) mi out ma. But fer sun, I denied. Steven really care fer mi or is it just wat a casual fren will do when he ask mi to beware or be careful when wif deqiang when he learns that deqiang is in army. He added on sayin army guys are tough and be careful not to lose my virginality. For dat, is it consider a care frm him or a joke he is makin.? I’m nt sure.

Meetin wif deqiang was quite ok as I feel comfortable and easy. I am nt afraid to do stupid things and I am me when we are out. Our conversions will evolve ard army topics but at least I learnt something that I will not know frm books. As these experiences will nt come to mi so easily like wat e guys will haf when in army. Deqiang is still in his process of getting his bike license and he said too bad he dun haf his license yet if nt he will send mi home. I will be waitin! Haa I am afraid to take bikes once I imagine myself fallin out e bike wif cuts on my legs.. haa

Mon 21.01.08
Meet wif deqiang in e morn as he was bringin mi to eunos for I duno my way dere.. chatted on e bus ride again and yes, it’s army stuffs again and we gt digress to other things too la.. aft dat went back to amk hub to meet mum to buy shoes fer new year and went tuition aft dat.. my hse is becoming like a hotel to mi already coz I go out early in e morn and reach late. Nt only dat, I can one day went hm a lot of times jus to put my bag or stuffs and out again fer tuition. My hsu is like a stopover fer mi lol.. so busy haa e rest of my week will be hectic coz wed work 11am – 9pm then meetin pp aft dat. Thu sch then trainin will only reach hm at 11pm plus ba. Fri go sch, then tuition and nite cycling all e way till sat morn. Sat rock climbers will be sun bathin at sentosa and haf fun duno I still haf energy by then ma? Sun, I wanna climb! Yes I wan.

Tue 22.01.08
Went sch and trainin aft dat. Sch ended early at 3pm so I decided to go hm put my lappy 1st before trainin coz aft trainin I am goin to my aunt’s funeral. Luckily I went hm 1st coz my slipper suddenly snapped after I asked mei yee to give mi a ride hm haa.

Trainin was quite fulfillin fer mi as I completed 2 out of 3 routes by beatrix and I set a ‘circle’ route unintentionally wif some of e techniques included which is a good thing. The routes are all jugs as told by beatrix and it’s doable just that u need some techniques, tension and lockin strength to get through.

Took ting yin’s dad car to amk mrt station to take bus to lavender there fer e funeral and everyone’s remarks fer mi was long time no see u.. all were thinkin hard when is e last time they saw mi. haa I can sae is a few years wor. I have made myself disappear in front of those relatives fer 1 or 2 years le ba fer mum’s side and fer dad’s side? Haa it’s even longer. 3 or 4 years le ba. Dun wanna interate wif them lea coz I haf nth to sae to them and I dun feel any closeness between us. It’s my parents they are closed to nt mi and I will be there sittin keepin quiet. Saw a few cousins that used to talk together when I go their hse and they look handsome aft long time no see haa. We talked bout e convers only evolve ard studies, jobs and nth else. So is this jus e things relatives talk about when they meet.? Sometimes I am so tired of life lol.. nth is interestin in life?

Wed 23.01.08
Had a dream that feels sweet to me. Aft dat dream, I haf been thinkin bout him lea. I dreamt I am wif steven as a couple and we are very sweet loving. There’s this part where I go out wif deqiang or who I can’t rmb jus to make him angry as he made mi angry haa. Somemore, it was rainin and deqiang take an umbrella to shelter mi and put his hand ard mi. I saw steven was angry and I am feelin happy inside my heart that he cared. Another part was when in e bus I am still angry wif steven and even sae “yes I like u and so? Did u ever like mi b4?” in an angry tone. E rest of e rc pp were in e bus too and everyone was havin their own convers. Suddenly, steven speak up and sae I love u. I was shock to hear that but I pretend I didn’t hear it and ask him to repeat himself again. He didn’t but sae that “u last sat, 26.01.08 admit in front of everyone in rc that u like me and now u wan mi to admit also.” I said angrily “yes, I admit I did sae that in front of everyone but at least I dare to sae it out loud and let u noe. Nt like u, nv sae anything.” He shouted I love u suddenly that everyone in e bus kept quiet and and that moment, my heart melted and felt warmth. Since that dae, we are very sweet and loving climbing together.

Awaken frm dis dream lets mi know that I have actually started to like him? Have been thinkin bout him more today and thinkin of how it would be if we were together. But, IF I really like him do I have e courage to let him noe? I am scared of becoming like susu and I once I tell him I like IF I do. I have no confidence in fallin in love anymore. Haiz..

Today, I have been thinkin of momo, deqiang and steven. I have been scenarioing but no conclusion comes out. I enjoy being in e company of them as frens or as someone I wan him to be even close than a fren?

MY LIFE IS IN A HELL OF SHIT. (I’m emoin again oops haa)

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