-> SHE

disclaimer: if you are readin this post, means you are damn bored right nw haha.


SHE.

There she was, sitting in her designated seat in her little office, also known as the server room. In the room, she was team up with D, the same age as her only months older and L, 4 years her senior. She is their source of laughter. They are not bullying her. Neither is they sneering at her. They are all playing together everyday.

Whenever she is alone, she wonders to herself. Why is she working so hard for. For money? But she doesn’t see any savings in her accounts and wonder where did all her money went when she kept working hard to earn. She wanted to save some money for studies and driving lessons but she’s afraid she couldn’t make it again.

Recently, she felt she still has the desire to study. Study her favourite business related course. She has a reserved place at RMIT Global SIM, Bachelor of Business Management. She is just afraid that she couldn’t be able to come out with the amount of school fees needed. She is also afraid this desire to study of hers will burn out, as there are still 5 months to her study term starts. 5 months, a lot of things can happen.

She will always have this quote, plans will never ever catch up with changes. She is afraid to plan. She doesn’t like disappointments. So in her life, she does not pin high hopes in the things she do. She wanted surprises. Surprises that will make her so elated that she could feel the bliss in her life.

In her heart, she longs for someone to care for her. But, she has the habit of appraising each of the guys that were close with her in her heart. She wanted to kick out that habit. And she realised that she hasn’t been doing that for quite sometime.

She likes her life to be fast paced, but not her personal time. She realised she likes to do things fast recently. Like during work, or for cashiering duties, she just want to be fast. She is not competing with anyone, but herself. She always challenges herself to be faster than before.

Last year, she felt she didn’t have a lot of close friends. Yes, she might have maybe 1000 acquaintances which some she probably have forgotten she once knew them. But among those 1000 acquaintances, she thought to herself who exactly is her close friends.

This year, she knows who are her close friends. She used to think her close friends wouldn’t add up to 10. She was wrong. It was more. She was being well liked by her close friends. She felt grateful to some of her friends because sometimes she would have a nasty attitude towards them. Those friends, is what she counted the dearest friends in her heart. Only to those, she will never be afraid to show her temper.

She looks cheery but there are times where she will be emo too. Especially when she is alone. Sometimes, she is so emo that she feels like crying, crying her heart out and have the comfort of someone dear beside her. That special someone that she longs. She controlled that emotion and depresses it further down in her heart and hope she could hold down that feeling longer. If can, till the time she found that that special someone to share everything with her.

She is lazy in nature. She is a contradiction herself. She likes cleanliness but she would be dirty due to her laziness. She can sleep with her laptop and bag at the foot of her bed. She can just dump everything on the sofa when she reached home and only turn the stuffs over in the sofa whenever she wanted to find her things. She can be so lazy that she cooked her instant noodles using 2 bowls and hot water. Reason she is lazy to wash the pot that will be used to cook the noodles. Only boiling of waters does not require washing and the only washing needed is the small little bowl and a fork. If she’s alone at home, her breakfast, lunch and diner will just be snacks and potato chips. Something which she often stocks up. She is just too lazy to get herself out of the house to get some proper meals, which is just right below her block.

She is someone whom she herself sometimes doesn’t even know herself. Like what she wants. Now she wonders will anyone else out there really know her that well?

Wonders.

Written by: Jocelyn Lim
Edited by: Mr Daren Ong

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