-> still fantasy

here i am, sitting in the office of sph at 10.43am listening to jay's 3rd last album, still fantasy and playing solitaire. i have this feeling that i couldnt rid off. the whole album, will reminds mi of someone whom i once like. both of us like jay. we are climbers. we used to hang ard aft climbin. it was him who introduced mi to selegie's touhua. we often chat online and meet up. aft trainins, we would sometimes walk here and there. sharin his mp3 listening to songs while walking, chatting. i felt bliss at that time. and this album, happens to be out when we are being close together. so, the songs in the album will bring mi back to those memories. we have lost contact nw. or should i sae we nv contact any more. he have someone he likes nw and i have gotten over it. just that this album brings mi some memories.

21:08

-> SHE

disclaimer: if you are readin this post, means you are damn bored right nw haha.


SHE.

There she was, sitting in her designated seat in her little office, also known as the server room. In the room, she was team up with D, the same age as her only months older and L, 4 years her senior. She is their source of laughter. They are not bullying her. Neither is they sneering at her. They are all playing together everyday.

Whenever she is alone, she wonders to herself. Why is she working so hard for. For money? But she doesn’t see any savings in her accounts and wonder where did all her money went when she kept working hard to earn. She wanted to save some money for studies and driving lessons but she’s afraid she couldn’t make it again.

Recently, she felt she still has the desire to study. Study her favourite business related course. She has a reserved place at RMIT Global SIM, Bachelor of Business Management. She is just afraid that she couldn’t be able to come out with the amount of school fees needed. She is also afraid this desire to study of hers will burn out, as there are still 5 months to her study term starts. 5 months, a lot of things can happen.

She will always have this quote, plans will never ever catch up with changes. She is afraid to plan. She doesn’t like disappointments. So in her life, she does not pin high hopes in the things she do. She wanted surprises. Surprises that will make her so elated that she could feel the bliss in her life.

In her heart, she longs for someone to care for her. But, she has the habit of appraising each of the guys that were close with her in her heart. She wanted to kick out that habit. And she realised that she hasn’t been doing that for quite sometime.

She likes her life to be fast paced, but not her personal time. She realised she likes to do things fast recently. Like during work, or for cashiering duties, she just want to be fast. She is not competing with anyone, but herself. She always challenges herself to be faster than before.

Last year, she felt she didn’t have a lot of close friends. Yes, she might have maybe 1000 acquaintances which some she probably have forgotten she once knew them. But among those 1000 acquaintances, she thought to herself who exactly is her close friends.

This year, she knows who are her close friends. She used to think her close friends wouldn’t add up to 10. She was wrong. It was more. She was being well liked by her close friends. She felt grateful to some of her friends because sometimes she would have a nasty attitude towards them. Those friends, is what she counted the dearest friends in her heart. Only to those, she will never be afraid to show her temper.

She looks cheery but there are times where she will be emo too. Especially when she is alone. Sometimes, she is so emo that she feels like crying, crying her heart out and have the comfort of someone dear beside her. That special someone that she longs. She controlled that emotion and depresses it further down in her heart and hope she could hold down that feeling longer. If can, till the time she found that that special someone to share everything with her.

She is lazy in nature. She is a contradiction herself. She likes cleanliness but she would be dirty due to her laziness. She can sleep with her laptop and bag at the foot of her bed. She can just dump everything on the sofa when she reached home and only turn the stuffs over in the sofa whenever she wanted to find her things. She can be so lazy that she cooked her instant noodles using 2 bowls and hot water. Reason she is lazy to wash the pot that will be used to cook the noodles. Only boiling of waters does not require washing and the only washing needed is the small little bowl and a fork. If she’s alone at home, her breakfast, lunch and diner will just be snacks and potato chips. Something which she often stocks up. She is just too lazy to get herself out of the house to get some proper meals, which is just right below her block.

She is someone whom she herself sometimes doesn’t even know herself. Like what she wants. Now she wonders will anyone else out there really know her that well?

Wonders.

Written by: Jocelyn Lim
Edited by: Mr Daren Ong

21:07

-> pon and missed =]

i skipped work ytd. lazy to wake up. comfortably slpin till 1pm and awoke by my mum to eat lunch, mcd.

went to wrk today. daren and lashimee call mi miss chao geng haha. i gt a lot of names liao.. one more added today was glutton lim.

was being told that i'm being missed haha. wif my presence, it's nt that bored. cause, i am their source of entertainment. ha!

kamar. haha last time used to laugh at sally. nw i'm being laugh at. nvm. it shows that i am a fun person to be wif right? haha...

that ques is open to valerie, shirley, joyce, tingyin, steven, weizhen, sally, daren, lashimee, zoel, clive, wai fen, an jie, sikin, jun rong, deqiang blah blah blah haha.

22:34

-> wow

titled wow.
author daren ong.
duration 20mins

this passage was about me and sneering at me. humph haha.

She sat there in the office: working with a face of blissfulness not from her work. The chocolate before her is no match for a glutton of her status. With one hand full of dark chocolates and another with chicken bryani, she resembles a warrior with a sword and shield in hand, ready to face any oncoming battle which in this case was her Achilles heels for food. During her work term, she swelled like a balloon. Even the elephant print of her shoes seems to have come alive and grown considerably in size as with time. How could a glutton like her used to be an Ah Lian? If she used to be an Ah Lian, then now she has become ten of her former self. One could not fathom the intensity of her eating speed. If properly measured, it could easily be 10times faster than the speed of the quickest F1 driver as of now. Like those Taiwanese drama, she aspired for herself to be slim and attractive but yet the more she want to do so, the more she find food attractive. Her bag is always charged with food. For food she lives and for food she dies. Do not ever disturb her. Her sheer weight is fatal. Unless confident, otherwise do not, I repeat, DO NOT PROVOKE HER.

22:20

-> lost

i have lost myself.

00:02

-> nil

sometimes, i felt tired... tired of living. nth seems meaningful. if i were dead tml. i have nth to regret fer nt doin yet. right nw, i am just living a day aft a day thinkin wat am i doin each day. nothing makes mi look forward to the future. i lost interest in everything. life too. wat am i living for?

22:23

-> like finally!!!

yesh!!! i finally pass my btt aft the 2nd time. so happy. tot i will fail again coz, i nv study much again haha. only ytd browse through the signs and today half an hour b4 i'm out browse the road markings. so happy haha.

past happenings....

10 jul
met steven and tingyin to celebrate andy's bdae. he treated us eat philipine food. place at marina sq, 7101 flavours. go to my facebook and see wat we get him fer pressie ba haha. we get him briefs and requested him to wear on e spot!!! we are at level one of marina sq. steven was demanded to wear wif him too haha.

11 jul
met wh fer movie aft my work at cold storage. promise to treat my bro to watch ice age so i brought him along... but, i cannot make it in time if i were to go home and fetch my bro coz we check the timing le. so, i ask wh to go to my hse n fetch him instead haha. we couldnt get our hands on e tix fer 3D so we watched 2D instead. went to amk market to eat b4 e movie started.

15 jul
invited joyce, tingyin and steven over to my hse fer potluck. i provide crabs and they bring other foods to my hse. wao, the crabs coz 50 bucks. haha. joyce cooked tomato based spag and the sauce is she hand squeeze out frm e tomatoes haha. tingyin bought sushi frm ichiban sushi at amk hub and roasted pork frm the food court there. while steven, bought 2 cooked chicken frm shop and safe. well, food was too much. my mum cooked one big pot of sweet and sour soup, cereal prawn, and vege. crab was really lots. 9 crabs. black peppered. they hang ard till 12 plus then go home. nice and comfortable gathering.

16 jul
joyce, tingyin, steven and i met again. we meet to watch harry potter and the half blood prince.. movie was long. all of us sat uncomfortably. seat was small and so is the place fer our legs.. we were watchin at yishun gv. joyce drive mi home haha.

15:37

-> lazy

last few days already wanted to blog. but juz plan lazy. oso 4gt wat to blog le. so, i'll juz blog this pic..

this shows how slack we are in the world of our own. play music, watch drama, read mag/newspaper, slp!! haha...

the key to those???? listen to footsteps!! haha of course juz need to recognise one and only one footstep we are to account to la...

that daren, nw i called him gu ren (骨人). we are gettin lamer wif each other nw... and, i like to use this word 敷衍 on him. sometimes we seems like 敷衍ing each other cause we juz haf nth better to do... nithiya wasn't at work fer half of e days i went. so, those 3 days only gu ren and i in e office. and lame is what we have become.

23:10

-> congrads

congrads to my sister joyce fer passin tp!!!

psst... drive mi out to play when u gt car ok??? i'll make myself free to fer u. only u wor to play haha. so u wun be slackin at home. heihei

03:12

-> temp admin

82 genting lane singapore 349567
singapore press holdings
circulation department level 2
temperature admin assistant.

today is my 1st day of work. 6 mths contract, till 31 dec.
pay little and so is work little.
no choice, but at least i haf a proper job fer 6mths...

tml i'll be bringin my little pillow to work haha. can slp fer like an hour durin break.
literally my 2nd home le.

in that little small office, there's only he, she and mi haha. 3 of us. world of our own.
we are situated away frm our boss. cool.
my job scope?? ans phone calls. and sometimes some paperwork.
aft 2pm, we will be starin at each other, nth to do much.

23:00

-> whaoh...

today morn interview. i damn duno how to go.. spent so much time researchin how to go last night.

thx jun rong fer drivin mi there. appreciate lots. xie xie.
went hm play pet society play till wan slp sia... so tired.

cancelled meetin wif wh. timin nt gam. meet again when he book out.
received call in e afternoon say i gt selected fer e job le. i duno gt how many pp went fer interview but i saw 3 when i was there which includes mi too haha. so, i knew i win 2 pp haha. one frm tp de.

e interviewer say i hyperactive. he ask am i always so hyperactive. haha.. am i??? today clive oso sae i so active. shi meh?? interviewer oso sae i very useful haha. think this is wher i win the other 2? i noe alot of things. IT part and business part. i didn't put in resume or application form. juz durin e interview mention.

sign the contract this aft b4 goin cs fer work

00:07