-> Valerie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VALERIE!!!!

12:58

-> unconsciously unconscious

my day isn't any great.

wake up at 7.30am omg!! i am damn late. by this time i shld be in bus already instead. was wonderin whether shld i go sch or nt but i have skipped 4 times liao.

reasons to go

promise shu jun go sch
promise myself to come fer one whole full week since i haven had a full week attendance since last holi
today gt ut

i pulled myself out of bed in the end. bath and stuffs, i board the bus at 8.17am. i tried to keep myself awake but i failed aft nee soon camp. i fall aslp. to make it worst, i actually slept till woodlands interchange. when i wake up, the bus was already makin it's way down the tunnel to the interchange.

wanted to take bus to sch but the queue was like damn long la. walk lor. treat it as morning exercise. but, my shoes. it's killing my feet. a one size smaller shoe. thanks to rock shoes ar. size 5.5 hottie makes mi think that i really can walk away wif size 6 shoe instead of my feet size 7 shoe.

lesson learnt.
smaller shoes can fit and walk fer a while doesn't mean i can walk a lifetime wif it. stick but to the usual size!

reach class. 9.25am 5 more minutes to break. haven even warm up my seat and off i go fer brunch. lesson wasn't any good either. duno how to calculate, solve the problem and the stomach makin me feel uncomfortable.

stayed the lesson throughout but solution was all wrong. aft ut went hm wif shu jun. the only fren this sem that i juz knew and can click better. coz i nv really interact wif classmates this sem. juz come and go. went to sports hall fer a while then bused home.

talked alot in the bus. one common character. both are stubbon pp haa. aft she alighted at yishun, i fall aslp again. guess wat, i bused to interchange again. gt come and go hor. was late meetin wh.

my bdae 'celebration' started.
shall stop here. all of how i spent my bdae shall be posted all in one ltr on.
shall stop here.

12:33

-> again

again, i am the finance head fer climb.MAX 09.

i actually want to opt out but since it's my last time doin this, and it's a bigger event, i might as well give it a shot. anw this time i gt a mentee wif mi i hope it will be better than the last time!

please, let this be a better one.

workload increased X3. i need a better management.

00:41

-> so many

one of the reason why i want to stay at home.

when i am out, the chance of goin home empty handed is very low low low low low low low low.
aft work, i only thing in my mind fer goin amk hub is look fer steam ironer.
but, i spent $100 plus juz nw again!!! ah..

my list of wants.....
- ipod
- havanias back strap slipper
- branded wallet
- 12h watch
- clothes
- pumps
- bra
- bikini
- accessories
- steam ironer
- rebond hair
- whole set of make up kit
- bag
- lappy
- sony ericsson c905
- jacket
- good food
- holiday!

so many wants i haf.
sat n sun i'm nt workin. shall make sat my shoppin day as my present fer myself! hee. or mayb wed aft work since work till 3?

wat will i get???? haiz money money money.

00:45

-> question

i have 2 questions in mind.

1. jackfruit's nick meant fer mi?
2. he still check out my blog?????

08:54

-> what

Longing for one but having second thoughts of having something called L.

01:11

-> oh mi god

e thought of sch tml on my way hm juz nw, makes mi sian.

i suddenly feel like droppin sch.
i'm prepared to repeat sem wif my lously grades and poor attendances nw.

i wanted to write more negative things. argh, forget it write next time. since this negative feelin is always there. *EMO*




tml die die oso muz drag myself to sch. WAKE UP! WAKE UP! ut tml n fri. i duno wat modules... tml go sch then check. heard frm joyce sae bankin ut on tue. is it? i duno.

23:19

-> where?

WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?

where is my motivation to sch? class? lessons?

i have skipped sch again today. wai fen, an jie have broken their record fer last sems of skippin sch. i think, so am i.
they are reaching 20 times fer this sem. mine? 16? 1 whole module lessons fer a sem?

someone volunteer sayin give mi treats if my gpa can make it to 2.8. i'm nt interested. i turned him down.

ed chat wif mi. on the same topic too. i sae no motivation to sch. he sae is it bcoz no jy in class? my reply was no him oso e same. no motivation to sch.

joyce knew i nv go sch today too. she sae bankin ut is next week. ask mi to study at home. i sae dun wan see 1st haa. her reply: haiz juz cannot convience you.

thu n fri gt ut. i duno which modules.

4th dae of flu addin wif cough

22:02

-> salad

e sudden crave for..............

salad!!!!

made myself salad n my bro wanna make his too.
his was...........

fruit yogurt salad!!!!

preparation of fruits n vege by my mummy!
although we sae we do haa.
or actually is i dun wan to wash n cut e veges. keep askin my bro to wash fer mi haa.
as fer my bro, he cannot cut his apples so my mum prepare everything fer us lol haa.
btw, i oso duno how to skin off fruits usin knife. only noe there's a tool called skin peeler!

put thousand salad sauce fer myself n yogurt fer my bro. we stir n eat ouselves wahahahaha.

next crave. auston westen, tomyam steamboat.

3rd dae of flu. chocs as med.

22:59

-> kevin sae

kevin sae i am like so emo.

kevin = Hi...
joce = hi
kevin = Wat u doing nw?
joce = nth to do
kevin = Nv work?
joce = ended liao
kevin = So early?
joce = ya 2.30pm
kevin = Wah then wat time u start work?
joce = 10
kevin = Haha...
kevin = Btw how's sch?
joce = sian
kevin = How come? Wat happen?
joce = all along was that wat
joce = i dun recognise my classmates sometimes
kevin = Serious?
joce = anyway, nowadays, i juz go sch, solve the prob and ston at the lappy
kevin = U dun talk to friends?
joce = nth to talk
joce = keep to myself
joce = go fer e sake of go only
kevin = Then your rock climbing friends?
joce = i nv go climb le
kevin = I thought u have lots of friends there?
joce = hi bye frenz ba
joce = i dun go find frenz de
joce = nobody come find mi so be it lor
kevin = Aiyo how come u so emo ?
joce = hahah
kevin = U seems veri lonely in sch...
joce = mayb
joce = haa i dun care nw everyday sch end i chop chop go hm le
kevin = U seems veri emo...
joce = haa
kevin = Like that i give u big present..to make u happy :)
joce = hahahahahhahahaha
kevin = Wah...but u tell mi wat u want..
joce = sae b4 liao
kevin = Wallet right?
joce = ya
kevin = U check out the type already?
joce = no
kevin = Aiya..haha today u nv go out with friend?
joce = nv
kevin = No date? Haha:D
joce = no

like wat he saes, i AM really emo ba. i dun care wat is happenin ard mi. and even my replies in msn, if anyone notices, it's abrupt.

the passion of mine is faddin since 2nd nov. i proclaimed it the last.

00:25

-> ????

to go or nt to go.

i duno tml wan go sch ma.
only skipped once fer tml's lesson.
but it's hospi that i am doin fine fer the lot of the modules i am takin this sem.

see if i can wake up ba.

2nd dae.

18:49

-> oh flu

oh i kanna flu haa.

i know wat zhen will gonna sae.

TAKE CARE. DRINK LOTS OF WATER.

nope. i'm nt goin to do those. i will juz leave it as it is.
yes, stubbon is wat i am haa. e more u ask mi to do, the more i dun wan to do =p

1st day at cold storage. was ok. tml i will be on my own on the cashier liao.
fast right haa. newbie cashier will only be on their own aft 3 days of trainin. but mi, 1 day nia hee.

01:14

-> madagascar 2

last night the 2nd time i brought my bro along to watch movie wif wh.
when i was about to go out, thought of bringin him along.

had a good laugh. it's been long since i had a good laugh. haf been emoin fer quite sometime.
tryin to walk out of that emoness.

finally, i finished watchin ten brothers. last ep was sad. real saddening. i cried like the 10th brother. can flood liao. juz so mi. will always tot of things. i recalled the sad part of my life.

sec 3 adam khoo's talk. the crying session. i still rmb wat he says to make us cry. the dark room. mom was in one of the doors. think of the things she had done fer mi b4. the mirror. faced my reflection. what have i really achieved b4. am i really doin fine with the current results.

sec 5 graduation. i cried like shit. with the leavin of sch, classmates and frenz. everything felt saddening. e years of frenship we shared together, the funs, laughters, joys, saddness and e bonds we had. everything have to part as 5A and carry on with our lives. the different paths we will be leading on our own.

Labels: cried

18:22

-> sch

sch days have been slackin.
made myself come sch le, copy and paste some slides and i sat at my place stoning at the lappy.

watched drama. more and more nt interested in class liao. everyone in class feel so unfamiliar.
sometimes i still can ask friends oh, he/she is our classmate ar?
or i can rmb some faces that i noe but can't quick rmb wher that face of the fren fits in wher?
classmate? fren's fren? camp mate or wat.

like today. saw someone very familiar. sae hi and i turn ard. reason? coz i 4gt how i know her le. aft a few secs of pondering then i know.
oh is business finance classmate. so awkward.

friends. i think i have many. true friends? i duno.
in my 3 years in RP, i have acquaint alot of frens. alot really.
6 classes of frenz, ig mates, frenz of frens, sit frenz, alc frenz, camp frenz.

but true frenz? i think i can only count with my pair of hands.

zhen i'm nt emo ok haa i am alright. juz 突然很感性

14:24

-> my weekend

wkn was spend 'quite' busy fer mi.

fri aft sch, i happily went home because i could go hm early haa. no ut. shu jun, joyce, wai fen they all have HR ut.

wanted to run but e weather was damn hot. thinkin of wait till night then run but was lazy le, went to bath. aft bathing then saw zhen's msn askin wan to run ma.

sat. tuition was at 11am at my hse. but was cancelled fer e whole of this month. watched hot shot till ep 15. went to sally's bdae party ltr.

alot of people. most are frm RP. i knew like half of them. but zhen only know a couple of them.

left sally there at 9pm. wanted to bus to bukit batok but e bus was damn long. took another bus instead without checkin e bus go wher again. e bus ride through the place i came b4 till it gave a turn that i duno wher am i le. alighted, cab to the mrt station.

train ride to pasir ris and cab again to joyce's chalet.
everyone left when i reached. only left steven, tingyin, joyce's bro and zatd.

ate a bit and we went back to the room. i only sat there fer like 15 min, and i gt 2 mos bites.
e room was great fer a chalet. tingyin n steven left home aft a while. i stayed over wif the rest.
played cards wif her bro. i was e 1st to KO. ZZZzzzz....

e bro keep wantin to play da dee. i wake up at 4am saw them still playin.
we check out at 11am n her god dad drop mi at the 22 bus stop. ride home awake.

reached home, bath, eat, online fer a while, i went out. go look fer job.
bought a perfume fer myself and sourcing fer joyce's bdae present. went back amk hub, wanted to bus home aft buyin the wrapper but saw family.

join them lor. they were lookin fer sis de prom clothes. boring. i wanted to go home but mum sae eat le chai go home lor. so i suggested pepper lunch shun bian eat fer mom's bdae.

continued shoppin aft eatin and i spend $100 plus netsing. the payer dun need to carry the items brought wahhahaha. i help them my sis pay 1st but i am the overall spender.

my money. ='(

08:53

-> stupidity = idiot

stupidity = idiot.

yes. because i have been an idiot there standin in e bus frm amk to sch. an hour ride.
there have been empty seats ard, i saw but i nv sat.

i am juz plan stupid there standin all e way.

10:19

-> so.......

slack.

skipped sch. i just cant be bothered to come up with any reasons fer nt goin to sch. i wake up, see the time, and SLEEP.

mom wake mi up. but i still dun care n went to slp. i really lost count in how many days have i skipped. or i nv go keep track? when i am on vpn then check ba if i can rmb.

today's module is the one that i haf F fer the UT 1 grade. think skipped 3 times liao. can retake module le. simply lost interest.

i lost interest in everything. Everything. JUST EVERYTHING.!

i segregate myself frm others. i dun feel like opening to others. i gt problems but i dun wish to share or tell anyone. i dun feel like talkin.

i am damn annoyin these days. they might not know, but actually i am being an irksome person here, tryin to provoke them and lose them as frenz.

i have changed. i'm nt like wat i used to be. very cheerful.

i'm nt nw. seldom. even if yes, i might fake it. i dun feel happy.
nothing is interestin. i wan to be left alone. coz i noe with that attitude of mine, i have nth left.

NOTHING.

dun bother. u will just get negative results.

00:22

-> i'm feeling

18:44

-> climb on 08

slept at 4am e previous night.
wake up at 6.30am to prepare to go out fer climb on 08.

i'm nt late. the rest was damn damn late.

climb.

i gave the all the hard routes a miss.
still enjoy la aft all. esp when i can complete e routes hee.

still goin back sch to climb? i duno. depends.

did not eat the whole day. i was feelin hungry and not hungry the whole day.
i skipped dinner with the rest. part of the reason oso because i am tired le. another reason? feelin emo and no mood le.

bused back slp. reached home, i went to run straight away. ran fer half an hour. actually wanted to skip dinner so i can sae i did not eat fer a day but i still climb n run.

but determination was overwhelmed by hunger.

00:06

-> stop

think aft tml, i may stop my passion.
i'm nt climbin in sch anymore.

occasionally, i may be climbin outside on my own ba.

02:01

-> my birthday

hmmm....

recently channel 8 haf been promotin my bdae.

World AIDS Day

it falls on 1st Decemember.

or i would sae World AIDS Day and I were born on the same day, month and year.

The 1st of December, World AIDS Day, is the day when individuals and organisations from around the world come together to bring attention to the global AIDS epidemic. 2008 marks the 20th anniversary of World AIDS Day. Whilst we have come a long ways since 1988, there is still much more to be done.

one month later, World AIDS Day and I are reaching our 20th birthday.

is this a good thing or a bad thing with so many pp celebrating with me?

00:52