-> 31.08.08 Nike Human Race

i had so many feelings today.

i ran the nike human race. my feelings: scared, unsecured, disappointed, delighted, fulfilled.

scared.
when i reached padang, saw the sea of people wearing red makes mi feel scare and feel like backout on the race. it's really been too long since i went fer marathon runs. still rmb whenever i haf a run in the old days, i really took precautions like avoid eating chilli, bring all my gear and stuffs. today, i juz took a towel and my fon (act as my mp3) to run.

unsecured.
i have no confidence. no confidence on finishing the race. i keep imaging myself unable to finish the whole course and started walking. yes i have been running recently to add as my trainin fer the run but those running distance have yet reach 10k yet. so today was the 1st 10k i have run since 2005.

disappointed.
when i finished the whole race, i look above mi. 1h 35min 45sec. i tot that was my timing.

xiang quan: have you finished de race? how yor result?
mi: finished le. i took 1h 35min 45sec. was able to constant all the way hee
xiang quan: de result is too far from wad i expected, very slow lo, but anw, u complete it.
mi: shit you.

haa the rest of the msg i am lazy to write. still gt lots to write. with that msg, it spoil my mood.

delighted.
kevin sae i can go online check out my timing fer today coz that timing i saw and assume was mine might be nt mine. when i reached home, i kept refrenshing the results page as results was yet published. till at 2am, i saw.

25 cities
Position 46652 Jocelyn Lim (Singapore) 1:13'05"

Singapore
Position 4709 Jocelyn Lim (Singapore) 1:13'05"

Singapore Female
Position 968 Jocelyn Lim (Singapore) 1:13'05"

woohoo! it's below 1h 15min! that's wat i have aim as a target fer myself. i achieved it!

fulfilled.
i felt the sense of achievement fer seeing those results of mine.! so happy. msg kevin and xiang quan once i saw my results. kevin, to share my joy and xiang quan, to prove that i made it.! hee.

accounts.
here goes my long long account fer today. let the story unfold to a (readers, input your own adjective ba. i duno wan use wat adjec haa)...

1320: online playing viwawa sushido. suddenly feel like playin aft so many weeks of neglection. saw kevin online. damn. we are suppose to meet at amk at 1330 but he is still online nw..? haa chat fer a while and he sae he will reach in 15min time. well, i dun really believe him so i play 2 more games of sushi aft he went offline then pack my bag. haa. halfway packin, he called and say he reached liao. i was like "kns, reach so fast i tot u bluff so i slack my way ard haa"

1400: meet him and went to ah ma's (chan meng) shop to paste my screen protector. ah ma only charge mi 2 bucks although he used 2 screen protector to help mi paste. the 1st one was wasted.

1415: took train to city hall. kevin's fren join us at toa payoh and we waited fer his other frens and jy at city hall before heading to the padang.

1530: went raffles city wif jy to find toilet fer attire change. kevin called mi twice to hurry mi. "toilet jam la" haa.

1600: walked to starting point. unknowing, we walked to the 2nd pen area wher we will start 30mins later.

1645: my race finally started. ran wif kevin and jy. kevin's fren all started long ago at the 1st pen. they are all runners. including kevin himself too. but he sort of like accompany mi to run. sayin this run he is treatin it as a leisure run, see scenary.

the 3 of us were running together till at the 1st drink station wher we lost jy. bout 2.6km lidat. so both of us run without him coz we totally have no idea wher jy is. oh ya, while runnin, i saw familiar faces doin marshals. my rp frenz haa.

durin the run, i would say it's difficult to run. alot of pp, narrow path to run. there were many times wher we had human jam. durin the run, i saw quite a no of pp walkin. i keep tellin myself, i can slow down a bit but CANNOT walk! saw couples holdin hands walkin, small kids runnin, big size pp runnin and walkin.

initially, i would try and keep up wif kevin so that i wun end up runnin alone. but aft some dist when we lost jy, i drop that idea. coz kevin have been lookin out fer mi. so, i juz run my way knowing he will run close to mi if he found that i am nt somewher near him haa. aft the race, i told him that. and he was like "basket, i scare you will be lost" haa. i replied, "how to get lost when i can follow the red sea of pp."

1810: race finished. we walked over to esplanade to change. i did not have to carry my bag coz my bag was inside his bag. yes, i bullied him haa. even my shoe bag oso hook onto his bag. he carried it fer mi. jy and kevin change. but i did not. i juz went to the toilet fer mirror haa. i didnt change because i still wanted to cool down further and change later.

i accompany kevin to wheelock to claim his new shoe. he suggested walkin coz train will be damn pack wif pp. so we walk wif jy to the mrt station and continue our walkin to ps 1st fer tau huay. he was still walkin wif my bag inside his bag haa.

he walk down to the basement of smu and change in one of the toilet there. haa shouldnt have change la coz i took out my bag and have to carry myself le. but my shoe bag was still wif him. we drop the idea of tau huay fer pastamania. i duno tat time am i really that hungry or wat. italian strawberry soda and prawn riso tasted so heavenly to mi. hee. i treated him coz as a make up bdae present.

we continue walkin and i think a hungry woman is really a crazy woman. i wanted to eat this and that. haa. suddenly want french fries, ice cream, tiramisu, bubble tea. and talkin nonsense. to think i can even say next time u buy new fon give mi. "i help u use durin the wkds since u will be in army. haa"

he will be goin to army in oct and he tot of buyin a new fon. a gd quality fon. i sae buy fer wat when he cant even use but he sae can use durin the wkns. haa so that's when i sae give mi the fon and i help him to use durin the wkds. and sae "then can give u a reason fer meetin mi every wkn to collect yor fon haa" to think he actually agree to it and sae "ya" haa.

the rest was just some lame chats we had. and laughers. and ya, i suddenly rmb my post ytd and ask fer his views bout wat he think. he oso agree that i dun noe how to take care of myself fer he sae "i noe u duno how to take care of yorself." haa. wat i think bout myself is true then. think xiang quan, deqiang, wh, wz, sally will think so too fer this are the people i knew very long long long ago haa.

shall plan another outin wif bro (cheng jung), senior (chin ran) and kevin fer steamboatin.!

my feelings as a day.
kevin and jy were both my ex. but today, i can so be myself and talk whateva it comes to my mind and even be bullied him wif no bad feeling. but wif jy, i can only try and create topics to talk that sometimes i feel weird.

sorry fer being my turn to neglect u as i duno wat to talk to u bout and u dun talk too even if we were alone sometimes.

23:22

-> take care

how do you define take care.?

to mi, taking care is something that dun quite exist in my life.?
i duno how to take care of myself. let alone someone.

when i am sick, i dun care.
when i am hungry, sometimes i dun eat.
when i am already full, i still eat coz i am tempted to eat although my stomach cant take it liao.
when i am sad, i still wan to watch or listen to sad songs.
when i am having muscleachs, i still excerise.
when i am tired, i still keep myself awake to do other things.
when i am lost, i totally have no ideas what to do and give up.
when i am confronted with things that are not smooth in my life, i keep to myself.
when i am lonely, i nv make an effort to approach frens.

there are juz so much things with a lot of examples and scenarios with the above WHENS and more to show i dun really noe how to take care of myself.

whenever someone tells mi to take care, i juz reply ORH, OK and do nth. juz do the same thing that is still 'harmin' myself. like nw...

climb till fingers pain, but i am still climbing.
climb till brusies here and there, but i like it.
climb till muscleace, but i like the feel of having difficulty in my movements the next day.
run till leg pain, but i am still runing.

less than 12 hours later, i am going fer nike human race run. i am nt prepared. with muscleachs, and my leg pain, i am still goin to try and push myself fer the 10k.

i juz dun really take care of myself but juz one word, 'torturing'. yes, i am torturing myself.

01:14

-> feel

ytd was teachers' day. i neglected that day. till juz nw wz ask mi gt go back sch ma ytd then i rmb ytd was teachers' day.

to mi, this year's special days and holis dun feel special to mi at all. it juz felt like a normal day to me. and so was my bdae last year that i suddenly feel so emo that i dun wish to do anything at all that day. dun feel like goin out, cut cake or have a special dinner wif fam. i juz stay in my room, drama all that and kept myself quiet. even though my sis and all bought cakes and ordered pizza fer dinner, i wasn't at all enjoyin. in fact, i gave that emo face last year heihei.

this year, bdae will be here soon in 3months time. it's on a mon. sch, then climb or tuition.? i duno. it's juz still too early to say as i am a very very random person. my plans will suddenly change due to circumstances. heihei.

ytd went to climb. felt damn boring. i miss my climbin clique. i miss the laughers we had when we climb, the jokes shared, the routes given and the aft climbin sessions. dun feel like climbin in sch anymore but i found out that i still like climbin juz that nt wif this clique. trainin days fer mi will be lesser le for i have lost interest in climbin wif this clique.

shall call my cliques out fer some climbin and aft climbin sessions.! yes steven, yor fav buffet.

14:09

-> w64j, w67h, w67b

i have 3 classes. sian.. grades are out, classes are out.

as expected, i gt my selected modules and the days of schoolin is the same old mon, tue, thu n fri. nth new. the only thing that is new is classmates ba. less known people in the class. meanin, i have to add on to my list of frens in msn haa.

mama called mi in the afternoon sayin fyp grade is out. made mi heart itchy itchy (心痒痒) come online, haven gt time to check the grade, reb frm my bankin cum healthcare class ask fer my grade fer fyp liao. i tot ed will be e 1st to ask or inform mi but he didnt today.

B215 Financial Accounting B 3.0
C363 Financial and Banking Applications I C 2.0
C367 Healthcare Applications 1 B 3.0
B216 Marketing C 2.0
G301 Project I C+ 2.5

fyp C+. satisfied though. can pass can le haa.
gpa dropped again. but i okok coz i really pon sch more and more jialat haa. duno how's wai fen's and an jie's gpa. they pon more than mi sia.
think year 3 sem 2 i will pon more jialat than year 3 sem 1.

2 days same class as fen. yea haa. but this spells trouble too heihei. more skippin of classes. let mi think the possible things we would do if we pon. kbox, movie, slack, slp haa.

juz nw let val see some of my classmate name. she says my classmate have funny names haa.

XIA XUE
XIA BING

i call them 下雪下冰 my class will be cold~. oops. sorry fer making fun of yor names my classmate. and another classmate of mine frm another class is called AUNG KO KO WIN. my day 1 classmate. only noe him in that class. he is oso my ex accountin classmate.

learnt frm sikin she gt F fer fyp. felt sad fer her.

00:32

-> ang wan WAY.. haa

haa went out wif shirley today. my sec 1c cum 2c classmate. so so long nv see her. happy to see her. we had lunch and a long chat. lunch was treated by her. thanks =)

why ang wan WAY..? haa saw one of her cards in her wallet that spells that way. her name was shirley ang wan may instead of WAY. haa. funny.

the long chat reminded mi of many many things. esp the part wher we used to go 'explore' ard hougang and the 'deserted' places that is opp our old campus at hougang. so many funny things happpened when we 'explore' ard.

and the times we drink shandy to 'drown' our unhappines. we talk bout how's our life now and i learnt a few things frm her. she have changed. changed to a braver and tougher shirley that i have used to know. felt glad for her.

i didn't noe i had so much influence on her sia haa. she sae she tuck out uni last time coz i sae tuck uni better. she wore ankle socks back in sch daes coz i sae so. made mi look like a bad kid when i am in sec sch daes sia haa.

shir sae she felt nervous fer meetin mi today. haa coz long time no see and she tot i do not wan to meet her. well, she's wrong la. i miss u shir haa. i still rmb this frenship of ours.! and i still wanna mit u the next time, the next next time and the next next next time. hee. kbox, lunch, dinner and dun 4gt the rock climbing! heihei.

haa so i can be this influencial..? can make people feel stress, nervous, random. what's more..? zhen, sally, val, joyce, cousin, karnita. if u are readin this, how do i make u feel...? heihei

23:12

-> 二十五天

这二十五天来，我曾开心过，曾觉得幸福过。谢谢你。加油喔。

嘿嘿突然很emo对吗？因为我刚刚冲好凉。认识我的你因该知道我每次冲凉就会想很多东西，很多idea。所以我就是这样才会冲凉冲好久好久。

就突然想用华文来写部落格可是，因为不习惯写和用华文，所以懒惰写了嘿嘿。

02:21

-> single

i'm back to singlehood...!

haa this time i will not be impulsive and just agree. i will consider.. juz like wat zhen have said b4, if he really likes u alot, he will not give up and wait fer u.

hmmm... like wat zhen's msn nick says nw, "dreamz to be a little princess".
yes.... waiting to be someone's little princess.! hee.

23:00

-> the answer

i have gt my answer today.

set wrong alarm and wake up late despite many pp woke mi up b4 haa. my mum, sis and even kevin. yet, i went back to slp again till 1245 when i need to get out of my hse at 1pm haa.

met up wif jy and we went to collect our nike human race pack. we were silent while walkin. i gt the answer today to why the neglection, why the silent walkings and why the recent less chats.

reason is, he have been stressed. he sae he felt stress when we meet up. duno wat to talk to mi and face me. when we meet up, yes, i have been trying to create topics to chat.

we agreed to stay as frenz fer nw. noe each other better 1st. he agreed wif my previous entry that we still duno each other much.

16:16

-> finally

finally olympics is over haa. to pp like mi, is something great haa. pp like mi who nv watch because i bother more bout my dramas than olympics. haa these few days pp have been glued to tv fer olympics but mi, is glued to my lappy fer my dramas.

olympics is over le till 2012. i'm nt left wif no topics to talk le hee.

21:46

-> pics taken on 19.08.08

16:01

-> lazy

an entry that i wanted to blog fer sometimes but plain lazy. a few things.

run
have been running recently, totally have no idea what i am running for. have thought of 2 reasons but dun exactly know which.
-trainin fer nike human race
-running fer losing weight

him
things between us have been cold recently. we haven met fer a week. was lookin forward to go climbin wif him durin trainins but i am alone always. esp ytd, knew he will go gymmin b4 climb and i could go earlier a bit to accompany him to wait fer trainin. but because of rain, he went back. i'm disappointed.

we still haven chat on the phone b4. one more week or so, it's a month. fer nw, i dun feel secure. the sense of belongin is nt there. that day, the neglection, i said nvm. but the fact is, i do mind a bit. i kept thinkin and wondering why the sudden different feel. i wanted to know why the neglection but i nv asked. my fault too fer keeping things to myself.

these few days, haf been thinkin alot. bout us. sorry but to say are we really made fer each other? or do we really need to work hard to make this work. thinking back, i am back to the issue when we watched the 2nd movie. do we really noe each other well? are we in a rs too fast. or am i agreeing to his confessions so fast that i nv really think bout wat will happen later.

i'm nt comparing, i noe each couple have each of their own happiness. wher's ours? i duno. i saw that in his fren michelle's and joyce's and my fren, joyce's, karnita's and sally's. i have yet to see mine. the only time i felt happy is when we just started out, all his sweet talkings. but nw i felt nothing cause we have lesser chats.

i'm sorry i'm complaining.

15:17

-> selective viewing

18.08.08

it's been long since i went out with my cousin ting yin liao or meet her liao coz she quitted rock climbin. @#$%&

so, mon was the day we met with sister joyce and karnita(KarniJeremy) haa. we went fer lunch then movie at cine cathay.

i'm the rat shit there coz we watch The Midnight Meat Train (M18). for like half the movie, i am using selective viewing to watch the movie with my hands covering here and there. haa the other 3 were lookin straight at the screen and at the same time, laughin at mi. well, i juz cant take so much glore scenes like them. therefore, selective viewin is wat i am always using when watchin glore, violence and horror movie. wh saw that part of mi the most coz we used to watch movie in the past.

joyce and karnita was on the sides of mi. when i am selective viewin, joyce would sae i tell u wat happen later la. and i'll reply "i saw, i saw". i gt watch the movie la juz that i'm nt like them who see all the killin and smashin of the people that is so bloody and meat tearin.

only till the last part of the movie, at the truth of the killings then i did not use selective viewing that much fer bodies and bloody things were everywhere on that huge screen of the cinema that i dont know wan to focus of look where and resulted in nv absorb in how all the bodies and bloody things look like haa.

aft the movie, we parted wif karnita and wher fer steamboat. haa took the wrong bus there and reached outram intercharged instead. duno is it because of mi ma fer takin the wrong bus. so we took train back to bugis again haa.

while eatin e steamboat, yes, it is just another gossip time fer us. talk bout climbin, tellin ting yin wat she have missed frm our ophir trip. talk bout holidayin wher we sae we shall go out of sing durin one of the holis. blah blah. hanging out wif them was one of the enjoyable part of being in the rock climbing ig.!

photos was taken but wif joyce. i wan pics...! hee

03:01

-> long waited

5 princesses on the last dae of sch wif presentees fer each of us.
[ Qian Qian Cindy Valerie Jocelyn Kel ]

*note: 5 princesses was name by that slack shit kel

02:33

-> cried

finished watchin couple of fantasy today. yesh, it's the show showing on channel u 10pm mon to fri. last 2 ep, i cried. i'm touched.

today, fated to love you ep 23 was out. while waitin fer hair to dry aft bathin, i search fer it. i found it. watched it till 0340am. i cried again. i'm touched again by how ji chun xi made chen xin yi marry him. their wedding was very touchin to mi.

again, i am imaging myself in the situations. i can only dream bout it.

and i'm sure zhen will agree wif mi ep 23 of fated to love you is wat we yearn for the most right hee.

03:42

-> 5.1km

went to run at bishan park at 10pm wif xiang quan. 2nd time runnin in the night. somemore in this special month. sally n zhen knew i runnin at night ask mi scare or not. to be frank, nt scare is bluff de la. i juz nv think of anything, focus on runnin and my songs.! hee. i'm always on mp3 while runnin. to serve as a motivation and tempo fer mi.

ran 5.1km. 1.5 round of bishan park. i really go do my maths and calculate the dist. was really tired and feel like givin up. at 5km, i really feel like givin up le. saw all the 100m markings on the floor and motivate myself. 900m more, 800m more blah blah. yes, i finally did it. 5.1km, 32min. before i finished runnin, i aim to finish the nike race on 31 aug by 1h 15min as i always took 20min plus fer a round of bishan park, 3.4km. but after the run today, i aim to finish the 10km run by 1h 10min. hope will more runnings and trainings, i am able to finish the 10km by an hour! hee.

the feel of runnin at night feels great. no pp (or maybe there is at this time of the month just that i cannot see? oops.), feels easier to run duno why. smell alot of sweet flower smell but i dun dare to go think much nor look around. i juz look at the path i am runnin and at the same time, feel that xiang quan is running beside mi and enjoy the music.!

a great companion xiang quan was fer a run i would sae. he could run faster but he did not. he followed my pace. well, i wasnt bad either as i constant my pace for the full 5.1km. next run, target 6km wif 40mins? hee

00:21

-> hee

i was watchin fated to love you ep 22 juz nw. there's this plot where..

chen xin yi will only agree to marry ji chun xi if only there were flowers, surprise, kneel, dinner and ring.

and i am reminded of last time, azmi gave jeanie a stalk of sunflower and a tee frm esprirt. so sweet. even though they are nt together yet.

thinkin back, i did nt have any process of being chased. when his fren ask mi ytd how did he go aft mi. i answered, we didnt have that process. we were just chattin online all the while.

if only there were surprises. hee

03:15

-> 10.08.08 Sentosa

was supposed to go sentosa wif ting ting and some corkscrewers. i duno gt who anw haa. juz went coz bf went wif his frenz too.

in the afternoon, bf told mi sentosa area was rainin so he were walkin ard vivo wif his frenz while mi, still gettin ready to go meet ting ting and gang. on the way, ting ting knew sentosa area was rainin so they decided to cancel sentosa trip and go somewhere esle do other things. i didnt join them.

msg bf say i went over to join him instead and on my mind, i still haf a backup plan. haa ask zhen out and just the 2 of us since she nv been to vivo anw. but in e end, i still went to meet bf la. stopover at novena fer a while then went to meet him. haa bought a shorts a novena durin that stopover. random right.

bf was wif 3 of his frenz. one couple, and e other ger wher she brought 4 of her cousins along. haa was quite fun although i didnt noe them. we meet min jia fer dinner wher she is their gd fren, and my yr 1 sem 2 classmates. although bf and i are frm diff schs, but we have many hidden links of frenz haa.

meetin bf's gang of frenz on thu fer ma la huo guo...

oh ya, there's no sun today at sentosa... i wanna tan... lookin forward to another sentosa trip wif sally n zhen on 23.08.08. tan tan tan.!

23:57

-> blur

Keith says: heyy

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: yes?

Keith says: nv go watch fireworks ar

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: no haa

Keith says: haha nua at home

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: ya

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: u oso

Keith says: yeah lor..

Keith says: i went for preview yest

Keith says: i mean last wk

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: oh

Keith says: so how're u?

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: hmmm fine haa juz nw appetite wasnt gd recently

Keith says: how come? sick ar

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: been a week le nt sick

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: oso duno y haa

Keith says: wa tts bad..lateru become very thin

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: i oso nt thin to start wif haa

Keith says: no lah haha..

Keith says: although left amkss le den slack liao..bt rock climbing leh

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: haa till u mention amkss then i realise i talkin to the amkss keith

Keith says: WAAA

Jocelyn ^ Xiao Ke Ai Sotong ^ says: i tot i talkin to my poly fren

all the while, i tot i am talknig to keith goh chung guan. only till this keith mention amkss then i realise he is the keith frm sec sch nt the poly one haa.

20:04

-> wei zhen

sister ah u sure is art pp la. haa e pics edit till so nice la. think mummy oso will rise 2 hands and even her 2 feet up to agree. haa (imagine that haa. juz another funny act that she might be bluffed to do.)

18:24

-> entry 250

last night was an long and uncomfortable night for mi. i juz felt nauseas when i reach hm. i climbed up frm my bed twice to vomit at 5am and 7am. feel so umfortable.

haiz, i wan to get out of this thing soon. dun wanna haf poor appetite any more. i wanna eat what i like and eat freely.

when we are at marina sq de hk cafe

eve of national day. when we are at the parade's area

movin on, we walk to other places wif pics haa

at the bridge between esplanade and fulleton hotel

on the bus homing..!

16:41

-> gd luck

bf is goin to have his final theory test.



GOOD LUCK.!

14:50

-> sweet

last week, i wasn't really sure and dun dare to say words like miss u.

but now, i am very sure nw.

i miss u bf.. u slp so early...! @.@

mom will be goin malaysia fer e wkn till mon.. haiz pri and sec students are just so gd. they have no sch on mon and a halfday tml.. but we, tertiary students have sch.. holi in 3 days time.. what can i do to have extra days off fer holi will be skippin sch..! haa. my plans fer e holi will be enjoyment! yes, i wan to play till i drop.. hee

there are just many frens i wanna meet..

tml till mon meals will be on my own.. guess it will worsen my already poor appetite? hee

a woman who keeps smilin to her lappy and hp that her sister joyce cant stand her, her fren karnita laugh at their funny incidents and the reason is him.

00:44

-> joyce's post

TO HAPPY GIRLS.
Although, happiness is found.
But remember compromising is the key to success in relationship that works for me.

remember never to get yourself hurt in relationship.
dun cry. if you ever. the guy is hurt too. unless he is an asshole.
stay strong and love strong.
if you are ever hurt. find your dearest friends.
that works for me. i had them.

to my dearest sister.-jocelyn.
wishing happiness for you future with him.
(( ;

this was taken frm joyce's blog.. thanks fer e blessing. =)
hope things will be going more smoother fer yor r.s.
i will be there fer u when u need a ear.. hee.. u can find mi.
or, karnita, lisa, you and i can form an alias against the guys when we are hurt..? haa.
nw left cousin ting yin.
one last thing, steven is no longer karnita's or mine haa. it's cousin ting yin's liao hee.
to ting yin, steven doesn't belong to us liao but u haa.
u shld noe wat i meant ba. our *secret* shh....
oh ya, gd news fer u. cant call u boyfriend liao haa. if nt someone might kill mi.
i will stick back to call u cousin..!
u haven been to rc trainin or shld i say stopped climbin. i miss u cousin. haa miss the gossips we had while climbin. lets meet up soon.

to someone.. heihei saw my sis's blog ma..?

23:09

-> unpublished post

ytd, jy confessed to mi sayin he like mi. when i heard that, i felt overjoy and at the same time, duno wat to react. it's the 1st time someone say he like mi in the face.


at the same time, i felt ps too duno y. i like him too. the situation ytd was awkward for us when we express ourselves. further more, when we are expressin ourselves, we are afraid of been seen by pp haa.

we held hands and i felt ps when walkin as i have nv done that in sch b4. pp were lookin at us and i just couldn't get used to it for that moment. to mi, that time was just to sudden and happening. i still need time to adjust frm a single mi to a double us.

he's a sweet talker wher he juz msg a I Love You to mi.. =)

this is wat we msg each other the day b4 we are together.

jy: ok.. faster slp hor if not from pig to panda.. nights=)

joce: nt climbin. fad saes bring shoe. so i duno do wat. only noe it's not on e wall. see u wan come or nt lor

jy: oh ok.. i see how it goes after the swim.. still not slping yet ah.. tml cfm you late..

joce: humph look down on mi. whole sem i only late 2 times hor. and is purposely de

jy: cuz the rest you late means nvr go school.. think i duno..

joce: noe mi so well?

jy: haha in the process la..

joce: oo okok. so shld i let u noe more bout mi..? hmmm

jy: waa say until i'm like stalker like that.. dont watch drama le hor.. go slp!!

joce: haa slp well fer tml..! nite

jy: i've been wanting to tell you smth today.. but no chance to tell you.. so tell you now.. i like you..

joce: prank ar

jy: -.-' is that wad you can reply.. nothing else?

joce: sorry recently haf been prank wif this joke. so i duno wat to react

joce: anw, this time u stan mi haa

jy: let me be the one to lead you when you're lost. let me be the one to guide you when you're blur. let my shoulder be the one for you to fall on. let me watch stars with you. let me be the special one who can call you pig.

joce: ..?

jy: ok go slp liao.. if not tml cannot wake up.. nights..

joce: if it's fer real, i'm willing to give it a try. juz that i think that i'm nt gd enu fer u

jy: dumb dumb.. how can you think in this way.. have a good night slp.. chat with you tml=)

joce: night =)

when we are together, i learnt that acutally, he had wanted to confess to mi a few weeks before. this was the 4th attempt. and in the attempts, there were funny moments.

1st attempt.
the night when we watch the dark knight. he wanted to tell mi he like mi while waitin fer the cab. but he was too shy to sae so nothing happens.

2nd attempt.
2nd last week of accounting lesson. we were chatting on msn, and edward, was on the left beside mi, venessa on my right. he told mi he wanted to tell mi in class durin the msn but he is scare ed or vanessa might look into my msn window.

3rd attempt.
i screw his attempt haa. we were msning again and when he wanted to tell mi, i added edward into the convers. reason was we were talkin bout ed coz he tot ed like mi. i explained to him no and added ed in e convers to chat as i am chattin wif ed too in another window. aft he offline, then those sms above came into the picture.

4th attempt.
finally he told mi. we are together. but a funny incident happened too. he took out his right hand aft i agreed to be the gf, i shook his hand. coz i duno wat to i shld do. his reaction was no, wrong la. and he stood beside mi, and hold my hand. wat a silly act i have fer shaking his hand when he wanted to hold my hand.

all along, i didn't noe he likes mi. till when we are together, then i learnt frm him that he join rock climbing because of mi, read my blog till jan 2008, i'm part of the reason why he nv skips accounting class, during 2 of the days i skip accounting class, he felt sian fer not seeing mi in class. come all the way frm boon lay to amk hub fer movie despite the probability takin cab is high. but actually, that night he took cab hm and sent mi hm too. all along, he started to like mi when we 1st team together. it's week 5 of accounting class. he told mi, he dun dare to talk to mi therefore he talk to other teammates instead. at that time, i was thinking, ok, this guy dun wanna talk to mi so be it. i juz do my job and talk to other teammates of my team too.

he added mi in friendster. he told mi, when he wanted to add mi, he was nervous. he duno whether i will accept ma haa. there's just so much that i am unaware. this is just so mi ba, so unaware of the surroundings and blur.

i'm glad that he initiated the rs. else, i will be blur forever to notice and miss it.

i still rmb the time u took my hand and say you hope we would last forever. i hope we will.

13:06

-> today

today at bout 1345, marks a new beginning.

i noe that i am not alone anymore and there's someone there for mi.

只想做你的小女人
希望你能包容我的一切缺点 =)

16:46