-> sad

i tot i felt sad because of my pumpfest results but only till i watch movie wif wh aft pumpfest then i notice it's not only pumpfest but along wif other issues.

to be exact, i started to feel moody ytd aft ut. 15 marks nv do...! worst, e qns that i attempt will not be all correct. flunk another test again. accounting ut 2

bankin ut 1 flunk. E 6.5/30

pumpfest last position. this is e breaking pt of my saddnes. i sux.. i didnt give my best shot as i am really nervous n stress. cant think of anything and dun really know what am i thinkin. haiz juz feel so suz.. fer that instance aft i step out of the crash pad, i feel like quitin climbin. i juz feel that sad and dun feel like tokin or face any of the rp climbers.

called deqiang fer movie but he haven book out yet so call wh instead. felt better aft watchin movie. he sae eveytime i watch movie, my eyes are very big. am i..? haa. and, he sae i am very funny. coz he sae wher gt pp feel sad and watch movies to comfort themselves de. but seriously, i felt better aft movie lea.

02:14

-> pumfest

12 more hours to pumpfest.
i'm nt ready.
i'm nt prepared.
my fingers are in pain.
i haf no confident.
i might nt be able to start e route.
i may be e last.
i juz suddenly dun feel like goin to e comp.

01:30

-> random

just so random...

today
eat wif wai fen n sikin durin 1st breakout. i just so randomly sae i feel like joinin her team fer fyp.. i think that sort of make matters worst... i'm sorry.

continuing been random, i ask them wan pon class ma aft hearin sikin sayin she feel like goin hm. haa. we really pon sch and cab to amk hub fer a movie at 1230. we were late fer e movie but enjoyed.

i notice that when i am showerin, more random thoughts came to my mind. esp fer fyp stuffs. i usually had ideas bout my fyp when i'm showerin more than when i am settled down. haa think coz durin shower e brain gt nth to think so any how flow wif thoughts and then came e fyp ideas.

ytd
aft ut, went to meet mama to discuss story board. caught sally ma in e life and this was my random speech "wei zhen is in trouble". haa. nt e serious type but e issue that both of us will nv tot of. so i briefly tell her what happen to zhen n she sae we should meet up wif her. her gang of frens went to koufu and so am i coz mama wanna eat. so we all eat together. wif this randomous thing, i suddenly ask sally ma wanna mit zhen aft i finish my fyp wif mama ma haa she sae ok. i called zhen and she was ok too.

we meet at northpoint but in e end, mama n my storyboard gt nth coz of that ben gay. another day of waste and sally ma, zhen n i went back to amk hub fer movie. we went to play arcade b4 movie and aft movie, we went to play pool. sally sae we shall meet up often and YES, WE SHOULD...!!! hee

i'm lookin forward to the comin sun's kbox wif them. cant wait to sing haa.
ps, dun 4gt to go joggin..! hee

01:47

-> photos

These are some of the photos i have taken during the past weekend. There are more photos with Andy that i haven claim yet hee.

18 May 08 Sentosa (FYP)
Li Yi and I

19 May 08 Trekking Trip
Joyce and I

19 May 08
HSBC Treetop Walk High up on the bridge with the trees! Yeah

00:34

-> my mind

i'm surprised...! these few days, my mind is occupied by climbin! i nv tot of any guy and nt even my eye candy lol... haa. while chattin wif zhen, i suddenly realise it's been a wk plus since wh n i have chat. haa.

well well, aft pp have been hearin wat are my schedules in a week, their conclusion was i am a busy ger haa. i agreed with that and thinkin if one day i haf a bf, wher's my priorty? currently my priorty is climbin as i enjoy myself very there durin climb. climbin wif corkscrews brighten up my day and i always make sure i will be able to make it durin trainin daes.

14:11

-> out

i'm out of his life..! so people who knows bout my story wif him, stop putin him in my life la hee.. esp uncle n edward haa. u guys are e one who keep putin him in my life.

23:45

-> trek

oh mine.. i ps my fyp team today..! haa. e plan was i went to trek wif jeremy they all then go meet mama they all. but, we were sort of lost inside and i am lazy to go aft that le.

started at bukit timah nature reserve and track to macritchie.. my main objective of goin today coz i wanna go the tree top walk. yesh i finally get to go there and took pics.. steven sae i very vain take so many pics haa. no choice ma 1st time go and i dun think i will go again la so muz use this chance to take many many pics haa.

walk and walk and walk. my legs feel sore and aching. knee is hurtin abit too. guess tml walkin is a difficult task fer mi.

go to sch tml? will see if i can wake up 1st anot ba haa.

21:49

->

another dae of photo takin session. went sentosa today n we took photos at the images of singapore and fort siloso. images of singapore had a lot of things. i am planning of taking e video there fer our project. fort siloso was nth much. think i cam whore more than e pics we took fer fyp at fort siloso la haa.

went to sp see e guys climb. fad get into e finals fer novice and so is zayd fer intermediate.! so happy fer them.

00:32

-> rockmaster 08

rockmaster 08.. my position was 26 out of 72. tis position let mi haf 2 feelins.

HAPPY
i have really improved..! dis few weeks, i always have doubts whether did i improve or nt. pp haf been sayin i haf improved but i nv take e comments seriously. but today, i see it myself in the competition wif e results.

SAD
top 20 positions will be in e finals. i am 6 bhind. i felt so wasted. i knew i could finish e routes if i am given more time. my 1st route was wasted coz i didnt know e 2nd last tile was a handle in my 1st try. it was till my 2nd try then i noe but it was too late. my hands are pumped. i'm too tired to do a heel hook to finish e route. sad.
2nd route was like a bonus to mi? coz i nv tot of startin e way i am doin. i tot of e other way that joyce did but when i am on e wall, i tot of alternatives suddenly which really made e climb smoother then i tot. i am really glad that i do it that way. ting yin sae she tot i will finish e route coz i am a few tiles away. haa yes i oso think i can finish. i need more time only.
3rd route, last route, a roof route. i do e route quite smoothly, and managed to reach fer 2 tiles over e roof. again, e rest tot i can finish it but, it's my foothold thing. i shld step a closer tile then i can go higher up to e endin tile. yes, it's e time that i needed again.

feel so wasted when i noe i can finish it..

deqiang send mi to sp fer my comp today. i appreciated it very much. many thanks. initially we were goin fer breakfast then he sent mi there. we took a lot time there coz we duno e way. we set off like 0740 and i reach at 0830. we went wrong way, go back to e same place aft one big round n wrong direction haa. but a nice ride la. windy

fyp aft comp and was at chinatown heritage centre. interestin and an eyeopener fer mi. but i was damn tired n feelin pain all over my body. so tired. a few more daes to endure fer a busy schedule..!

HAIZ...

00:12

-> rockmaster

ROCKMASTER IS IN 7 HOURS TIME...!!!

my rock climbin comp and i am still awake...! man

01:13

-> pain

indeed, i had my fun and fill climbin today.
BUT, my fingers arent happy wif mi.
they are riotin in pain! pain is e word i can feel that my fingers are tellin mi.
fingers, pls get at least better a bit fer tml's comp pls.
i dun wanna feel that i did nt do my best because of e 4 of u.

LEFT AND RIGHT LITTLE MIDDLE FINGER
LEFT AND RIGHT LITTLE RING FINGER

PLEASE GET WELL SOON!! HEE

01:07

-> ut again

today ut again. marketin. e module i am quite interest on but dun like e class n fac. haven study yet and i am sleepy. nth of marketin is in my brain nw. i heard marketin ut is hard to do cause need time. guess i will be like usin my time of 30min to scroll 6p rather than do ut? haa.

tml is rockmaster competition. i felt indifferent though. felt like juz another climbin dae but wif stress on that dae. will i really do my best tml.?

dis wkn, i seem to be very busy. gt fyp photo shoot, rock comp and e chat we had wif some climbers to go kbox on sun nite till mon morn and go track in e canopy walk. i am really very tired nw. will i last till mon? haa till tue i will drop n slp at hm instead of goin to sch ba hee.

ltr gt climb again. yes. haf fun...!

juz another day of accumulated tireness. jocelyn.. hang in there.

14:41

-> ut

today is healthcare ut 1. i miss sch fer prob 5. heard frm others prob 5 is hard even frm edward..! i'm gonna crash this test man haa.

finally i get my 1st B frm marketin..! aft 5 wks of C, i get a B finally. hmm still thinkin wanna stick to the pon 1 out of 3 idea ma. haa or depends if i can wake up, e mood, and nt tired?

climbin today. i'm gonna climb hard and enjoy myself.! think nw climbin is when i am free of thoughts but jus climb.

14:27

-> true?

my msn nick -> self proclaim pig. nt fer u guys to call unless u are special enu to mi hee.

watermelon lets wait for more movie out den see ok? pig
Jocelyn haa u are special enu to mi?
watermelon u nv say anything so i think i am damn special la LOLS
Jocelyn how special? haa
watermelon how i noe u got to ask urself how i m special to u
watermelon special love special u. LOLS
Jocelyn ?????
watermelon i don think u noe this song
Jocelyn ya
watermelon te bie de ai gei te bie de ni
watermelon ahh.. say le u also don understand
Jocelyn tis i noe haa
watermelon damn
watermelon so how don wan rite?
Jocelyn haa u give mi?
watermelon yaya. of i give u will wan?
watermelon if**
Jocelyn haa .....
watermelon LOLS. xia dao rite? come on
Jocelyn ya
watermelon don act LOLS
watermelon lalalla!
watermelon u still haven give mi ur answer sia. don wan ma?
Jocelyn u sounds like u r kiddin
watermelon no ar. i was waiting for ur reply. ur reply was more like haven fun
Jocelyn mi?
watermelon ya. u "haha" den ..."
Jocelyn coz u sae b4 u gt no pp u like ma so i tot u jokin wif mi
watermelon can pei yang de ma haha

01:56

-> .....

watermelon u ask mi go msn for? miss mi ar?
Jocelyn no tell u i am at hm only
watermelon that hurt. so direct =(
Jocelyn really? haa
watermelon ya how. u hurt mi
Jocelyn u r so weak? hee
watermelon im not. but my heart is
Jocelyn ......
Jocelyn eh u angry ar
watermelon yes? angry for?
Jocelyn tot u angry haa
watermelon angry for making mi hurt ar?
Jocelyn no la
watermelon doing my work
Jocelyn ic
watermelon don miss mi la haha
Jocelyn nv haa
watermelon har why nv miss mi?
Jocelyn no reason lea
watermelon ok. mayb we see to often tt why =)
Jocelyn really meh?
watermelon tt why u don missed mi at all
Jocelyn haa u gt miss mi meh?
watermelon no.
Jocelyn haa same wat
watermelon no ar. coz later can see le. why miss rite?
Jocelyn .....

01:55

-> 暧昧

separated e convers into 2. some lines was combine into one coz very long n i cut away some details. e convers started wif whether when wan to watch movie. was suppose to haf tuition on tue then watch aft that but my student cancelled it so i am at hm aft that.

i duno whether wan to believe that convers ma? coz we are like crappin every convers. but even if it's true, i think we wun be together ba. fer nw, i long fer a rs but i dun dare, my commitment would be like little, duno how a rs would be and e last ting, do i really like him?

fer nw, it's still a no ba. to describe e situation we are in nw would be 暧昧?

01:45

-> climb

seriously, i like climbin more and more. although my fingers are hurtin very much, bruises all ard, but i enjoy myself durin climb. so happy that i can really do the 10 sets of route and aft doin it a few times, i can really do it very easily and n smooth.

23:13

-> marketing

i swear i am gonna skip 1 out of 3

classes e rest of the module...!!

cant stand e fac man... damn long winded..!

15:51

-> i'm goin crazy!

this few days, i am scare to see 2 pp online. one fren n one stalker. the stalker, whenever he saw mi online, he will talk to mi. ask mi alot of lame things. i'm getting irritated. wheneva i see him online, i am hopin he will nt tok to mi hee

my fren, i'm sorry but to sae i startin to cant stand u le. i noe u r heartbroken n sad but i feel that u r like when borin then come find mi talk n 'demand' my replies and mus be fast too. aft a few mins of chat, kill yor boredem already then went offline. one day can happen a few times. i am like yor source of entertainment. as a whole, i am nt mad. but i juz cant stand u typin this. "reply lea". wat things can i reply when u are like talkin bout yor stuffs.? i quite like to give comments esp to him coz whateva i commented, it becomes nothing. he ask fer my opinion, i gave and in e end, it's nothing. well, the choice is his but wat he goes back to the same issue again n i need to give my opinion again. durin that period, even my stand also weaver coz he keeps changin his words.

climbin.
shld i sae i am happy or sad.? i'm happy bcoz i felt i haf improved. i can complete more routes. but i am sad bcoz while i am improvin, so is joyce. but e thing is i go trainin more than her but her improvement shown is way better than mi. this is e sad thing fer mi coz i go trainin more than her but my improvement shown is so little.

fingers pain again. suddenly, i haf e urge to climb till my fingers cant feel anything. dun care bout e fingers anw.

that time wed, wh sae i look like i gt probs. i think i did. fyp botherin, stalker annoyin, fren prob, climbin sux, workin fer money, tired to do alot of things! are those e probs i am facin nw?

i'm complaining.

21:04

-> Mother's Day

pre celebrate mother's dae on sat. coz i haf decided to work on sun too to earn more bucks. dad, my two sis n i treat e whole fam eat sakae supper buffet at hougang point. haa i made reservation there. 1st time fer mi.

well, mother's day shld be a dae she shld relax but i made them walk a long way due to my blurness haa. i rmb wrongly which bus to hougang point. i told bus 74 will reach there but when i am waitin fer bus 74, then i suddenly rmb is bus 72. i didnt go wif them coz i go straight away aft tuition. took cab there in e end.

ate a lot sia.. think haf been eatin much buffet wif steven liao.. ate so much. die.. juz how much weight i haf put on la. sad.

took cab hm again aft eatin. juz so sian to take bus change here n there.

01:00

-> 幸福

幸福，我的幸福在那呢.?

幸福，它离我多远呢.?

幸福，它会找到我吗.?

幸福，它就在我身边吗.?

幸福，我的幸福在那呢.?

幸福会与我擦肩而过吗.?

幸福会与我远离吗.?

幸福会与我到老吗.?

幸福，我的幸福在那呢.?

幸福，我和幸福几才会相见.?

幸福，我和幸福有个约定吗.?

幸福，我的幸福在那呢.?

幸福，我的幸福到了吗.?

幸福，我的幸福在那呢.?

幸福，我会幸福吗.?

03:14

-> sian

ytd was a long dae. went chinatown n little india fer fyp. e plan was we go there to see wat are e places we can take pics fer pictorial archive n video. in e end, e preparation for pictorial archive become a shoppun spree fer mama n liyi. both were so happy to be able to buy so many cheap stuffs.

aft fyp, went fer tuition at li ling's hse. she was feelin sian and so am i. both of us were like prayin fer e time to faster end haa.

meet wei hao fer movie. what happens in vegas. e movie was funny. both of us didnt noe it was so funny lol. i smuggled mac to e cinema. was really hungry coz i haven had dinner yet. haa. it was smuggled in his bag. he looked different. changed hair style again. nice though. e feelin when watchin movie wif him was comfortable. i nv think of how he would think of mi. i like being myself. i noe last time i tell zhen b4 wei hao n i will nt be together. but nw, i duno.

everyday at sch was so sian. i wan to find pp to chat. someone chat wif mi pls.. zhen.. hee

09:32

-> bored

marketin class. e class i feel like to pon e most. quite like e things learnt but nt e class. esp e fac. nv talk much in class and feel outcasted coz they knew each other. so lazy to do anything. esp on a mon morn. so blue.

10:20

-> drop

these few daes i have beem listenin to stories. aft listenin to all e stories, e more i dun feel like gettin a bf. the story i had been listenin these few daes, is makin a bad impression to mi bout r.s. makin mi havin a second tot of findin a bf.

fer nw, i wan to get him out of my mind le. dun wish to think of him any more.

addin on, these few wks there's this guy keep msnin mi... i haf started to feel he is irritatin. every night if he's online, when i go online he will chat wif mi. if he can notice, he noes bout mi but i duno him at all. frm e 1st chat till nw, he is e one intiatin e chat while i haf nv once. of e convers we had, i dun rmb i gt ask any thing bout him b4. coz i am nt interested. i'm juz like entertainin him by replyin.

22:04

-> sakae supper buffet

ytd was a long dae fer mi. It's been long since i had such a long dae. e last time was a yr ago durin zhi wei's bdae? e whole night at kbox.

sch was ok fer mi coz i have started to like healthcare class. duno is it e As that is makin mi to like e class or it's quite easy as a module. of my 4 modules, i like healthcare, accountin. then came marketin as 3rd but i dun like e fac and i find bankin very boring. 4th wk of healthcare. will i get A again?

1st ut of the semester n it was bankin. told myself to study e dae b4 but was lazy haa. nv tot of study till a few days b4 joyce ask wanna study ut together ma haa. didnt finish e ut coz gt some duno how to do. i hope i get e calculation part correct though. juz learnt how to calculate frm edward 15mins b4 ut de haa.

trainin was next. wasnt e real trainin as e freshies came fer e 1st try outs. we need to help belay them and guide them. beatrix separate us into 3 grps n gave us things to do. i went fer e endurance trainin grp coz i wanna climb haa. 1st thing on e list was to do 15 moves. zayd gave e moves n we climb. startin was easy till e endin was a little bit hard. only aft e 2nd try then i manage to finish it. i was happy coz i haf no confidence of finishin it was it was goin up high n e crossin of hands. then, i slacked coz e belayin grp was belayin e freshies on e walls. e wall i was climbin was occupied. i hang around wif ting yin and help to guide e freshies on e wall as there's a part quite hard to get over. i demo to them without rope n climb up too high. haa e rest of my climber frens was like "jocelyn, come down too high liao." i did not listen to them n juz carry on on wat i wanted to do. when i reach e tile i wanted to reach, oops. i dont know how to come down haa. too high n dun dare to jump. jia hao was like "jump down, i will support u."

i dun dare to jump n wanted to down climb but e tiles ard was limited n theres a little bit of roof so no choice, i jump. there's a sense of satisfaction coz that was over my limits! i tot jia hao that i although he said he will support mi but i dun dare to jump coz i am afraid i will land on him instead haa. fer climbin, e thing i am most afraid of was to hurt or injured pp and next was to hurt or injured myself. haa

8pm plus. went to bath to get ready fer sakae supper buffet. wait here n there, in e end we took cab there. zatd was already waitin dere fer e 8 of us. joyce, ting yin, steven, jeremy, andy, farhan, jia hao and i. ate alot n had fun too. e shop was like ours la haa. we were so loud. aft supper, joyce, jia hao, jeremy, zatd, andy and i decided to catch a movie, iron man. i nv watch iron man b4 so i do not noe wat's e plot. but e technology used in the movie looks cool to mi. aft e movie, i knew e existence of iron man haa.

6 of us, aft e movie sat outside ps at e cafe cartel de area. joyce n zatd join us fer a while then left us. was so tired la. i was like sleepy lol haa. we hang ard chattin till there's train then we left. andy took cab hm while jia hao, jeremy n i took train. 3 of us slept in e train n i overslept my station haa. 7 plus reach hm, bath and cancel fyp meetin. slp till 4pm plus n nv go trainin too. haiz wanted to climb but, e slpin tot overight my climbin tot haa.

i find that i am really stupid or innocent? there's so many things i dont know.

01:12